Bringing up bébé—A country girl trades in prairie life for Paris lights á la 4 kids in tow
"Dad, I met a man in Rome. And he's wonderful, and brilliant, and we're getting married!" You don't really get this scene from Father of the Bride until you've had a little girl. And for Dale and Paddy Adishian that brilliant man was in Paris and their youngest daughter, Carolyn traded her country life for the art, the fashion, the foie gras of France. Fast forward a few years, 3 bustling boys, a sweet baby girl, a jet-setting career and lifestyle blog, this charismatic California-native has certainly made her mark in the city of lights.
Meet Golden Girl // Carolyn Adishian-Koch
Ok, so we all at one point or another have day-dreamed about falling in love with a Frenchman and moving to Paris! Tell us more about how your story unfolded and what ultimately led you to stay, marry a Frenchi, and begin raising your 4 adorable enfants (who are all currently 5 and under BTW!)
I did a year-long study abroad program in Aix-en-Provence. After a few weeks, I hopped on the high-speed TGV train, making a beeline for Paris, my very first rendezvous with the city of lights. Someone in our hostel told us the Bastille was a fun place to go out, so we stumbled upon a Cuban bar (that sadly no longer exists) where I met my future husband! We chatted, exchanged numbers, and I spent that year taking the train to Paris to see him regularly.
When my exchange program came to an end, I decided to introduce him to my family back in the States–he was my first real boyfriend, after all. My 22-year-old self was completely clueless that he had contacted my French-speaking big sister to buy a ring and propose! Naturally, I said yes. Though we ended up spending that year apart. He was off in London finishing his law degree, while I took on my first grown-up job in California post-graduation.
After a year of long-distance, we got married and set our compass for Paris. I started grad school at Paris 1 Sorbonne University, while he began his career as a lawyer at a new law firm. Settling into Paris life was easy despite the traditional hurdles with French bureaucracy and visas. The more time passed, the more I could see myself raising a family here. Quite the twist for a country gal at heart who always pictured raising her future kids in wide open spaces!
What do you love most about bringing up your bebés in one of the most picturesque cities in the world?
Its beauty, history, and parks. Paris is a very walkable city, and our Yoyo stroller is like our car. The buses are also practical, if you’re not in a hurry. Our go-to activity is a trip to Luxembourg Gardens. If we’re feeling adventurous, we take the bus, walk along the riverbanks of the Seine to watch the boats pass by, roam around the Pyramide du Louvre, and after play in the sandbox at Palais Royal or ride the carousel in Tuileries Gardens.
You’re kind of a country girl at heart - growing up in Palo Cedro, California and later in Missoula, Montana - are there elements of that lifestyle you try to incorporate into your life in the big city?
I absolutely consider myself a country girl at heart, but incorporating the rural charm of California and Montana into Paris life is a challenge. I miss the open spaces, stargazing, and hiking! Horses have always been a passion of mine, and I’m eager to introduce the boys to the equine world. France does horses really well–it’s horse country here!
What American traditions have you kept for your kids and what Parisian traditions were you excited to adopt?
Thanksgiving, country music, and peanut butter! More broadly, we Americans have a tendency to be extravagant (over the top birthday parties, back-to-school, gender reveals, etc.), and I love it. Life is precious; celebrate the small moments as much as the big.
My favorite Parisian traditions revolve around food: the daily baguette run and weekly outdoor market visit. We also love the Bastille Day fireworks and fighter jets! However, perhaps the most Parisian tradition we've adopted is our love for the PSG soccer team. Even at 5 and 3, my boys can recite the players' names and even learned the French national anthem, "La Marseillaise," because they thought it was a soccer song.
It’s the weekend in Paris, what does an ideal afternoon outing look like with all your boys and what are you packing in your snack bag to fuel the momentum for the day?
Our weekends all look so different, but we have a few common denominators: croissants, chouquettes (round airy pastry with sugar), and Luxembourg Gardens. Our snack bag is simple but packs a punch with fresh bread, fruit pouches, and water.
You come from a family of four tight-knit siblings and are very close to the feminine energy of your mom and two sisters - would you say you were ready to embrace life as a mom of Le Petit Prince x 3?
I am indeed a girl’s girl. I didn’t know what to expect, but I was excited to figure it out. Raising three boys is such a contrast to my own childhood filled with barbies, ballet, and Disney princesses. But it’s so fun. One day, I have knights of Narnia sword fighting in the living room and the next it’s Mbappé scoring a winning goal.
Soooo we’ve read Bringing Up Bébé and so intrigued with mom life as a Parisian! Does the book parallel your life? Are there any Parisian parenting philosophies (like Pamela Druckerman) that you swear by?
I love this question. A friend gifted us the book when we were pregnant with our eldest, and to my surprise, it was my husband who picked it up first. We read half of it together and enjoyed certain parts but never finished. We never discussed our parenting style and despite coming from different cultures and backgrounds, and speaking different native languages, our parenting philosophy has always harmoniously aligned.
One aspect we appreciate in France is the absence of an overwhelming "helicopter parenting" culture. However, unlike the more forgiving "It's okay to stumble and try again" attitude in the US, there is a higher expectation here for kids to excel from the very beginning, which can create unnecessary pressure and fear of failure.
Stepping up to motherhood is probably one of the most challenging and rewarding positions a woman can be in. Are there any influences from the past (your own mom, mentors, books, podcasts, etc, that have helped guide how you mother?)
My mom:) A lot of moms (and plenty of non moms) tend to give a lot of unsolicited advice about how to do things. I really appreciate how my mom approached how she could be supportive of me. She simply shared what worked and what didn’t, but always encouraged me to figure out what made sense for us, reminding me there’s no one size fits all approach. The more kids you have, the more it rings true because they’re all so different!
Carolyn with her mom, Paddy and baby Claire (who is named after her grandma)
What do some of your favorite daily rituals with your kids look like in Paris? We know that these days and the routines within them can seem long, but we also understand that they are fleeting. Which ones are you soaking up as you know you will miss them the most?
Bedtime stories and prayers aside, my favorite daily ritual with the boys is picking them up from school and stopping at the bakery for a snack or le goûter in French. School starts at around 2.5 to 3-years-old here and they have long days. The boys are always excited to pick out their snacks at the bakery.
How do you make moments for your kids (tall or small) meaningful for your little ones?
I make them part of the activity, whether it’s cooking, laundry, grocery shopping, or picking out a film for movie night. I always try to level it up–if it’s movie night, they wear on-theme costumes or pajamas, and there’s always popcorn. If we’re grocery shopping, I gamify it. Sometimes we’re on a timed mission and whoever finds what we need first wins (the boys are very competitive so this is a crowd pleaser).
Now we know it can’t all be pain au chocolats, bistro chairs and twinkle lights; when you’re having one of “those days” with your kids, what do you typically do to reset the direction of the day?
Prayer! Having a quiet moment is essential for me to pivot. Next, I change the nature of the activity. If we’re outside and running around, we head home and paint. If they’re inside and rambunctious, we beeline for the sandbox.
If my husband is home or if our babysitter is free, I’ll get a massage or roam around Le Bon Marché (my favorite Parisian department store) or just walk around and listen to a podcast. Or I’ll send all the boys to the park, and I’ll stay home to clean and organize. Organizing is one of my love languages.
You are a wife and have children ages 5 months, 21 months, 3 and 5. Needless to say, you are “in it.” You also have a demanding corporate job and a blog, how do you balance your career life with home life? And what do you do when you just need to blow off some steam?
I’m all about work-life integration, and while work is demanding, I can be somewhat flexible. School pick-up and bedtime are important to me, so I block the time in my calendar. My husband is equally as involved and present, and we always do bedtime together as a family. We’ll close our laptops early and, if needed, start back again when the kids are asleep. It can make for a long day, but it’s worth it.
Also, in France, for the first two kids, you have a fully paid 4-month maternity leave and for three or more kids, you have a fully paid 6-month maternity leave. The dads have a one-month maternity leave. This time is key to bond, create routines, and establish a strong foundation from the beginning.
My favorite way to blow off steam is boxing. I started after baby #2 in 2021, and I’ve been hooked ever since. I also love doing Fit’ Ballet, Melissa Wood Health, or going on a long walk. Movement is KEY. I’ve never exercised and regretted it.
In raising your kids, what values have you prioritized into their upbringing? What do you hope sticks with them forever and gets passed down to their children?
A love for Jesus, living a healthy lifestyle, and their Armenian roots. I’m half Armenian, and I grew up immersed in the culture and the food. I went to Armenia for the first time in 2017, and it is by far one of the most profound, memorable experiences I’ve had. I can’t wait to take the kids, but in the meantime, Armenian pilaf is a regular occurrence on the dinner menu in our household!
Ok, back to “Bringing Up Bébé” - they compare the picky eating habits of American children with those of French children - claiming that kids can be trained to eat virtually anything. Do you find this mindset to be true as you tend to the nourishment needs of your little frenchies?
100%. My boys are always game to try new foods and they eat everything. Cow, goat and sheep cheeses to meats and fish of all kinds to beets, cucumbers, and salad. We never forced it or over encouraged. Anything they see us eat, they want to eat too. They’ve major FOMO when it comes to food.
Mom wardrobe: We’ve gotten pretty comfy wearing our vuori joggers from sunrise to sunset, how does mom style in France differ from the States? Head to toe, what are you wearing on a typical day? Are there any brands that particularly resonate with your style?
It’s rare to see someone strolling the streets in athleisure. The French are put together even if it’s just jeans, a white tee shirt, and a pair of shoes. They have a knack for effortlessly elevating the simple.
My style is classic and Paris-inspired. I do a lot of walking so comfortable shoes are a must. On a typical day, I’m wearing jeans, a blouse or button-up shirt, a cardigan or blazer, and boots or sandals (with a small or mid-sized heel because I’m always trying to gain a few inches with my 5 '1 stature!). I love to accessorize with earrings, rings, hats, neck scarves, and belts.
Some brands I love are Sezane, Sandro, Massimo Dutti or Cos. I also like to shop at outdoor markets or vintage shops. And I’m always keen on hand-me-downs from my big sisters!
What is your interior style?
Haussmannian architecture, with its blend of vintage charm and contemporary elements. I love texture and neutrals with a touch of olive green or royal blue. Our past apartments were cozy, to put it mildly – a mere 410 sq ft and 625 sq ft – so I focused on creating a space that was light and airy. Now, we’re in a bigger space with high ceilings and a charming balcony, and I’m in my color and print era!
Current playlist...
Jesus music, Disney, or our wedding playlist.
Le gouter: What are your kids typically noshing during this sacred afternoon snack time?
Chouquettes, fruit or nutella-filled mini beignets, or a baguette - whatever they’re in the mood for that day.
Go-to places to shop for yourself and your kids...
For the kids I love Petit Bateau, Jacadi, Tartine & Chocolat, Zara and H&M. For myself, Sezane, Sandro, Massimo Dutti or Cos. I also like to shop at outdoor markets or vintage shops. And I’m always keen on hand-me-downs from my big sisters!
Tried and true beauty and skin routines or products that can make you feel back like yourself in a pinch…
Hair oiling, gua sha to release tension in my face and neck, Klorane under eye patches stored in the fridge, a cup of herbal tea, and this mama is feeling refreshed!
5 Things You’re loving in your home right now…
Marble vanity in my bedroom
Vintage porcelain lamp in the living room
Newest piece of artwork in the living room
Dining room mirror
Plants
SHOP CAROLYN
